Posts Tagged ‘theme park’

….Suddenly, overhead, using the same projection technology as before in the queue, Hermoine appears and throws floo powder on you, spewing a tiny plume of green fog into your face, sending you flying  up into the air and through the floo network, emerging into the Astronomy Tower. I hate to say this, but the floo network sequence is HORRIBLE. It is very obviously a projection, and a bad one at that, with the edges of the projection visible to all of the riders and the motion of the seats, although smooth, feeling very inorganic. Additionally, the floo network itself is video-game quality CGI, which only adds to the unbelievability. The whole effect, including the lackluster fog at the beginning, is not very well done. Why they couldn’t have it appear as though you are entering a fireplace, even if doing so sideways, and THEN flying through the floo network after getting consumed by green flames, is beyond me, but they needed to (and if at all possible, need to think about reprogramming/updating to include that) because what they have now is laughably BAD. Out of the floo network, you emerge into a practical themed area which is the Astronomy Tower, a surprisingly immense and beautiful space that acts a anchor to the reality of what you are about to encounter, complete with an enormous armillary sphere and blue sky beyond the pillars of the astronomy tower. From here, you fly left to a concave screen of Harry and Ron high above Hogwarts, both of who greet you and quickly whisk you down closer to the castle where you suddenly meet Hagrid and Fang who ask if you’ve seen a dragon, menacingly producing an enormous chain with nothing attached to the end of it…

Harry and Ron disregard him and fly underneath the bridge and on towards the Quidditch pitch, but suddenly, the dragon flies up and begins to chase the boys as well as you, bumping you down away from the screen and into the bridge (as featured prominently in the Prisoner of Azkaban). The Bridge/dragon sequence is hands down the most thrilling and best part of the entire ride. It is done entirely through practical effects and is actually kind of scary for a few seconds. Once inside, you fly through the covered wooden bridge at a dizzying pace as the dragon’s wing appears menacingly in front of you beyond the bridge, flapping as flaming rips tear through the roof of the bridge. Suddenly, there is a roar and the crash of splintering wood and suddenly, you are faced with the broken bridge, falling down into its support beams where the dragon is waiting for you. Coming within inches of each other, the dragon spews flaming fog into your face, propelling you back down into the Forbidden Forest. (Just as a side note, that dragon head is a practical effect as well, and it is SPECTACULAR, a fully-operational animatronic that is frightening to behold and unnerving to literally come within inches of. Just so you know!). Now in the dark and misty Forbidden Forest, you see the thin thread of spider silk surrounding you as spiders drop from the trees, spitting venom at you as you delve deeper into Aragog’s layer. Suddenly (and if you blink you’ll miss it), you come face to face with Aragog himself, the dark, blind Acromantula that inhabits the grotto of the Forbidden Forest. He is terrifying, especially considering how close you are to him, but he is lit very poorly and you speed past him in a flurry. If you close your eyes at the wrong moment (or, if you’re arachnophobic, at the right moment) you’ll miss him completely, even though he’s literally right in your face and even spits on you, so keep those eyes open! Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t!

The entire Aragog sequence is very, VERY dark and potentially terrifying to severe arachnophobes. None of the animatronics are very complex or advanced, and truthfully, beyond the unnerving hissing noise that they feed into the benches, the atmosphere itself is a bit barren, but just like Disney’s DINOSAUR, this is one place where a dark room, some loud noises and couple of carefully placed ‘startle’ moments really turn an otherwise boring sequence into something that was, surprisingly, talked about after the ride.

Flying out of the grotto, you are greeted (rather randomly may I add…hmmm…) by Hermoine who, for some reason, appears in a hole in the side of the grotto telling you to quickly head towards the Quidditch pitch (which makes absolutely NO SENSE, seeing as we are muggles and have no clue how to get out of the Forbidden Forrest, much less make it to the Quidditch pitch, but I digress…). From here,  you emerge into a giant room that is very obviously a metal warehouse room that houses the enormous Whomping Willow. This is the first place in the ride where the magic is broken a bit, as you can clearly see the room containing the ill-tempered tree, despite it being very dark, and the tree itself does not move save for two separate branches, one of which flings randomly in the air overhead and the other of which ‘slams’ down onto the flying benches. Unfortunately, you can clearly see where these branches connect into the trunk of the tree with no blending of the static and dynamic occurring themeing wise here. Lastly, a sharp burst of air blasts you as are ‘hit’ by the bulbous tree branch.

Normally, this might be an enhancing effect to an otherwise lackluster event-room in the ride, but the pneumatic compressors used to produce the blast of air are so painfully loud that they overpower the soundtrack and are even audible upon first entering the room itself (which is NEVER a good thing- the audience should never see or be aware of an effect before they reach it).  Following this blast of air, you are thrown upward/sideways into another concave screen (all of which I should add are hidden VERY well, not at all suffering from the same ‘blending’ problem that plagues the screens of The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman that is just across the Islands lagoon)   where you are confronted by Harry who whisks you off into the throes of a Quidditch match alongside Ron. Like the other moments in front of the screens, the flying bench moves very smoothly, (in my opinion unnaturally so, but many who have ridden actually like how smooth it is, so there you go!).

After only minutes in the match, zipping around the field, a dark funnel cloud swirls down from the sky from which pour a deluge of Dementors. Harry, naturally, flips his lid and pulls you down into the trench run of the Quidditch pitch with Draco Malfoy tailing you like the obnoxious little git that he is…until, suddenly, a Dementor flies in front of you and the bench is knocked backwards into a dark cave. In a flash, a Dementor vaults from the dark and into your face, its ghoulish breaths filling the air around you.  Now, almost nothing on this ride up to this point made me recoil or feel even the slightest twinge of fear, but this part scared the willies out of me…it is so unexpected and so quick, you literally have no time to prepare for it and before you know it, that soul-sucking beast is within inches of your face! I was startled, freaked out and simultaneously proud of Universal for being smart enough to engineer a scare like this! It was strangely refreshing in a way (What does that say about me as a person? Hmmmm….oh well, I’m weird, you all know that by now…)

Unfortunately, this bright moment is quickly snuffed out as a continuous barrage of Dementors attack you in the cave. While the first Dementor was well planned, well placed and adequately hidden, the rest are visible long before you ever reach them and many, even, are still interacting with the car in front/behind you! Clear as day! Now, this may not seem like much, but it ultimately destroys the entire surprise factor. Couple this with the fact that the Dementors’ hydraulic arms (including limited-edition accessories of green LED indicator lights and fabulous electrical cords) are not even attempted to be hidden and you have yourself a hot, Dementor mess. However, apart from that initial one, when you get a good look at these things, which are supposed to be the single scariest thing in all of the Potterverse (according to JK Rowling) then you begin to see that they appear to be nothing more than standard, garden-variety Halloween decorations. Their black capes actually looked like shreds of old cheesecloth and their heads, which could have been organic and dynamic and terrifying to behold, looked like oversized Nerf footballs covered in pantyhose….they were so poorly done and so obviously animatronic that it was laughable by the end of their scene.

However, in the middle of the Dementor sequence, you emerge into a spectacular space and truly one of the best scenes of the ride (visually speaking): The Chamber of Secrets. This room contains all of the fixings of the film version of the legendary vault of Salazaar Slytherin, including a giant, carved portrait of a man (whose mouth you fly through…enough said…), stone snake heads and perfect rockwork/lighting. The space is immense, interesting and like the rest of the scenes on the ride, doesn’t last long enough for you to truly take it in. After flying sideways through the agape mouth, you are confronted by a final Dementor who leans in close and sucks your souls from your body, portrayed rather comically by an LED light in the mouth of the Dementor and a smoke screen displaying a picture taken of your bench earlier in the journey.

Now, this effect is fun, funny and a great way to make you feel a part of the magic…when it works, that is. Altogether, I rode this 4 times over the course of a week and the effect only worked properly once, with the smoke screen (think Davey Jones on the Pirates of the Carribean) failing to cover enough space for the projection to work twice and one time, the Dementor that does the ‘soul sucking’ never even moved… it wasn’t good. Particularly seeing as this is the final big thrill of the ride as you are then propelled into another concave screen where you see Harry shout ‘expecto-patronum’ and blast away the Dementors attacking you. The moment could have been  (and SHOULD have been) the climax of the entire ride with a blast of practical effects and slew of animatronic Dementors flying back as you charge through them in a flurry, but instead, he shouts the famous spell with about as much gusto as Snape on bath day. The next part, made me cringe in shame…. Harry yells “it’s caving in” and the bench follows the movement of the screen as CGI rocks fall from the ceiling, almost crushing Harry before he valiantly escapes and emerges out above the grounds and flies back to Hogwarts. This concept is not inherently bad (though certainly not original either) and it could have provided a much needed traditional thrill to the ride with the benches suddenly plunging down (as in a REAL hill, just like a rollercoaster would do)  as the rocks just barely miss the riders as they descend only to suddenly spring back up and out over Hogwarts (which could have been a separate screen at the top of the next supposed hill). This would have been thrilling and unexpected, but no such luck. Instead, you get a few seconds of motion simulation before you are thrown back into the Great Hall where you are greeted by all of Hogwarts, clapping and waving through the doors of the halls. The moment is neat and the practical themeing surrounding the screen is very, very well done. Flying again to the right, you reach another doorway and another screen, where Dumbledore says thank you, proclaims that you are always welcome back and to tuck in your elbows as you are flung once more into the Floo Network (UGH…it’s SOOO BAD!) and finally descend back onto the loading dock to disembark. Thus ends your Forbidden Journey through Hogwarts!


Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey is a fun, innovative and generally well-conceived ride that, with some tweaking, will stand out for years to come. It does have flaws though, and the flaws that it has are fairly major ones that did draw notice and criticism from other riders beyond myself. Universal, once it gets a handle on the ridiculous crowds, needs to go back in and redo a number of things  on the Forbidden Journey during the off-season, including (but not limited to): entirely new/reworked floo network sequences, new Dementors (or at least new heads…Creepier/more realistic please!) , retooled Whomping Willow scene, a fix for the hit-or-miss soul sucking Dementor, and finally, a re-imagined ‘expecto-patronum’ moment at the end. All of these fixes are well within Universal’s capability and budget, it is just a matter of willingness on the part of Universal Creative (who, admittedly, may have bigger fish to fry with the looming end of the Marvel contract which was bought by Disney just this last year).

Overall, the Forbidden Journey is a fun, magical but flawed experience that is great for fans and newcomers alike. Don’t expect huge thrills or scares and you won’t be disappointed by what Hogwarts has to offer!

The Good: Dragon Sequence, AWESOME queue line, Chamber of Secrets scene, smooth ride motion, Great practical themeing.

The BAD: FLOO NETWORK ( YES. It really is THAT bad.), Dementors, Whomping Willow, Cave-in moment.

WWoHP: Review Part I

WWoHP: Review Part II

WWoHP: Review Part II


Read Full Post »

Copyright The Rogue Imagineer 2010

On June 18th, 2010 Universal Orlando’s Islands of Adventure debuted the Wizarding World of Harry Potter to muggles the Earth over. A month later, The Rogue Imagineer,  got the opportunity to experience the Harry Potter’s world first hand…

Hogsmeade, the general aesthetics, products, shops and Hogwarts castle are all covered in part I of this review. This, Part II, will cover the meat of The Wizarding World: the rides.

Ride 1: Flight of the Hippogriff (Hippogriffs)

Formerly the “Enchanted Unicorn”, this mini-coaster is a gentle, breezy ride that is perfect for those not prepared for larger fare,  afraid of heights, small children and those families who wish to do something together without having to split-up.  It is smooth, longer than it seems and singlehandedly offers the best views of Hogwarts Castle in all of Orlando. The cool parts of this often overlooked family coaster are two fold: 1. Hagrid’s hut in the queue line, which is very, very well done complete with the voices of Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) and faithful Fang. & 2. The way neat and totally unexpected animatronic Buckbeak that you “bow” to as your train departs the station. Unfortunately, the ride is fairly short, only operates with one train (which jacks up the wait time and slows the movement of the queue ), is pretty mediocre fare considering the other attractions in the park, and the queue, beyond Hagrid’s Hut, is all outdoors and pretty much bare themeimg-wise. My personal opinion is that if you’re going to spend the money to erect a perfect replica of Hagrid’s Hut and a realistic Buckbeak, why wouldn’t you spend the money to properly theme your line? (or at the very least put some fans in it… 105 degrees is awfully hot to wait in line outside without so much as a breeze. Especially for families with young children.)

The GOOD: Excellent views of Hogwarts.  Hagrid’s hut. Animatronic Buckbeak. Only family friendly ride in WWHOP.

The BAD: Inefficient ride system. Slow moving queue. Barren, hot queue line.

Ride 2: The Dragon Challenge (Dead Space)

Overview: Formerly the Dueling Dragons (an unrelated Potter-name but FAR better than the truncated Dragon Challenge… I think it’s the alliteration that does it for me…), this ride is simply a re-masked version of an Islands of Adventure classic. I’m going to warn you…I don’t have very much nice to say about this, because, in my opinion, Universal actually took one of the coolest concepts in the theme park industry, not to mention one of the coolest queues in history, and turned it into something really depressing….like a finless fish…

The Dragon Challenge experience begins as you walk through a stone archway that leads to the stadium grounds of Hogwarts. Walking towards a dilapidated turret, one sees the hanging banners supporting the three champions of the TriWizard Tournament. These banners are, quite frankly, not very well done. I understand that it is to appear as though students made them to support their school’s champion, but these are not believable even with that in mind. Upon entering the turret, guests are greeted with a replica of the contestants tent from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in which sits the flaming Goblet of Fire itself. The Goblet itself and the stand from which it emerges are impressive, but unfortunately, the flame effect is done, rather archaically, through the use of simulated ‘mist’ flames that are then lit with dimming/brightening blue LEDs. Normally, this effect is at least passable, but on the day I experienced it, the mist was not diffracting enough of the light to even signal that there was an effect there at all (much less the roaring flames fans come to expect from the legendary chalice). I blew this off at the time as a fluke, but unfortunately, it turned out to be an omen of what was to come…

Continuing through the line, you meander through a series of corridors until you come face to face with the glowing TriWizard Cup. This prop looked stunning! It was truly beautiful and meticulously detailed, sitting high above the heads of the queue line, invisibly lit as though it was glowing (which it appears to do in the film at times). From here, you enter a strangely bland series of queue turnstiles, separated only by slats of wood planks and broken rock work, as though this part of the queue was destroyed in a battle. Of course, the implication is that dragons destroyed it, but this area is so bland it is painful (not to mention HOT). When guests look up expecting to see a continuation of the themeing, they are instead treated to an assortment of wood pieces and a black ceiling, complete with visible can-lights. It’s boring, it breaks the story and is a no-no in Immersion 101.  Moving forward, the queue enters into a soaring cathedral space that is very dark with floating candles above. This is of course Universal’s nod to the Great Hall of Hogwarts and the floating candles that sometimes inhabit its ceiling. At first, the effect, although obviously not complicated, is enchanting…however, Universal should cut this portion of the line down considerably, allowing guests to pass through only one turnstile round at most, because anymore and the guest’s eyes dilate to the point of being able to see the wires holding the candles and the otherwise fun effect is ruined. Sadly, this is the last room where any level of themeing is present. Upon reaching this point, realize that you, the guest, are only about half way through the queue and the rest of what lies ahead is simply a series of dark tunnels and caves that are  claustrophobic and bland and seemingly unending with air conditioning that is comes in sporadic doses to boot.

Upon reaching the end of the queue, you are faced with the decision between two different dragons: The Hungarian Horntail and the Chinese Fireball, both of which have really fun fiber optic banners representing their respective sides of the loading dock. Once a decision is made, you enter into a very large space that is done up like a tent (very much in the same fashion as the tent at the beginning of the queue), and here you can either get on immediately, with an attendant assigning you and/or your party into rows, or you can opt to wait a bit longer and ride in the front seat of the train. This room is in-line with the rest of the queue: lots of nice rock work but with nothing else to support it/enhance it. That is, of course, except for the ceiling, which has a very cool effect…IF you are able to catch it…of a dragon silhouette passing overhead as it roars thunderously. Unfortunately for this effect, the line moves too quickly and the loading dock is far too loud for many people to even see or hear this effect at all. It is at this point that you board The Dragon Challenge and if you have ever been to Islands of Adventure before you will quickly notice that, surprisingly, the coaster treatments have NOT changed, they are, in fact, still themed to the old Fire/Ice dragons in all of their late nineties fabulousness. Now, while I have been excessively tough on this ride so far, I can assure you that the ride experience itself, as a coaster, is an AWESOME one. Regardless of which dragon you pick, the coasters are smooth, exciting and well layed-out with surprises coming at every turn. This ride is made even more awesome when the operators do their jobs and actually sync the two coasters…creating a ‘have to be experienced to be believed’  near-miss(es) (yes, there are SEVERAL) with the other coaster as the dragons dodge and fight one another. This is hands down one of the best roller coasters in existence ( and I have been on every rollercoaster in the current top ten except for Kinda-Ka…yes, these really ARE that good). However, as I have criticized over and over again, Universal seems to continuously have problems with ‘breaking the magic’, because when you ride this roller coaster, you are treated not to a darring, rocky-stadium floor as is seen in the film…in fact, you’re not treated to anything but a front-row view of the backside of Universal Studios…complete with very magical busses, cars, service vehicles, fencing, etc. The ride area itself is also complemented by a lovely weed garden that has grown up through the cheap gravel that covers the ground beneath the riders’ dangling feet.

AGAIN, with all the money Universal has put into this project, you would think they allocated some to build a wall that would hide the backside of Universal Studios or even cover the hill/initial descent of the roller coasters, and then, at the very least, theme the area the coasters meander through to the already barren stadium floor from the film/books, which ultimately would have only required some gardening, some new colored gravel, a fence and some bland, barren rock work that they are so fond of! What a huge difference it would have made!!!! Not to mention, if Universal really wanted to get competitive with Disney, they could have added in some simple sensor-triggered pyrotechnics and a soundtrack with F/X. It is inexpensive (especially for an entity like Universal) and it would have upped the ante on theme park roller coasters.

The GOOD: GREAT roller coasters. The TriWizard Cup (trophy). Loading dock.

The BAD: The Queue. The Queue. The Queue. No themeing around the roller coasters themselves. Shells unchanged. Grungy/overgrown ride area.

Some things to remember:

1. Height Requirements.

Your children (or possibly yourself) ABSOLUTELY MUST MEET THE POSTED HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS to ride any of the attractions at Universal Orlando. Ultimately, if you proceed to try and get on a ride, even after waiting, and you do not meet the requirements, you and/or your child will NOT be allowed to ride. There is a zero tolerance/leniency policy on this. Know yourself, know your children, if they are not tall enough, just abstain from even entering the line and enjoy something else. Please, please, PLEASE don’t be another parent/person who thinks they can cheat the system or that their child is going to get on no matter what. These are false frames of mind and will only get you in trouble (and maybe even ejected from the park). It’s the law, it’s the manufacturer’s guidelines, it’s Universal policy. NOT TALL ENOUGH=NOT RIDING. PERIOD. Don’t become another sad, annoying statistic…(HA! That ending made this whole tip seem like a bad public service announcement…)


Much like above, don’t try to fool or beat the system on this. If it can’t be secured in a pocket, it MUST go in a locker. PERIOD. END OF STORY. You’d be SHOCKED at how many people think they know better or try and avoid this rule, only, of course, to be slapped in the face with it as they are about to board. Don’t be one of those people, as Rogue Imagineer readers, you know better than that (plus, it’ll save you some money as the locker option they have available for those last minute items is a PAY locker…you’re welcome…and it’s not like Universal didn’t warn ya!)

3. Open-heeled Shoes (sandals, flip-flops, etc. – Dragon Challenge specific tip).

You’re probably wondering what to do with those sandals/flip-flops of yours while you’re riding The Dragon Challenge, because if you wear them, they WILL fly off and there is no recovering them, not even after the park has closed. So what do you do? Honestly: I don’t know. This situation is insanely common and presents an interesting dilemma: A. You HAVE to wear your shoes in line and on the loading dock to get on the coaster, if you don’t have shoes on, the attendant WILL stop you and make you put some on and then return to the queue. It’s the health code, deal with it.  B. If you wear your shoes, you WILL lose them. Frankly, you just have to figure out a plan for yourself once you get buckled into your seat. My personal solution is to put my hands through the flip-flop straps and hold onto them while riding. Some people sit on them. Others put them behind their back. If it works, GO FOR IT! Just know that your shoes absolutely cannot interfere with the harness, so putting them through the belt-strap is not permitted and if you do this, you’ll be unstrapped and asked to re-secure them. Just a heads up!

Okay, so you’re probably wondering where the big tamale of this review is: Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. Well, quite honestly, the review for the Forbidden Journey I realized is a beast of its own, so guess what?? It’s getting its own review!!! YAY!!! Watch for my in-depth, wholly magical, completely exhaustive review of Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey this Wednesday!

Thanks for reading! If you have a comment or question, let me know in the comments section below!

WWoHP: Review Part I

WWoHP: Review Part III

WWoHP: Review Part IV

Read Full Post »

Copyright 2010 The Rogue Imagineer

June 18th, 2010 – Universal Orlando’s Islands of Adventure officially debuts The Wizarding World of Harry Potter to public fanfare and delight of muggles the world over!

July 18th, 2010 – I, The Rogue Imagineer, get the privilege of experiencing the park for myself…what I see, feel, taste and touch excites me, baffles me and somewhat shocks me. For the better AND for the worse…

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is truly an immersive gem in the theme park industry…for the most part. Upon entering Islands of Adventure, you can see Hogwarts castle towering in the distance, a sight I was very much excited to see. Unfortunately, the forced perspective used on Hogwarts does not work from this vantage point. AT ALL. To put it bluntly, the castle looked like something out of a really expensive miniature golf course  when viewed from that distance. However, skew my opinion I let it not! Continuing on, I made my way to the gates of Hogsmeade, which is where the ‘magic’ truly takes off. Here, the Hogwarts express greets you with steam billowing from its engines as the conductor ushers you further into the ‘world’. And let me tell you, at this point, what a magnificent world it is! Hogsmeade is PERFECTION. It simply has to be seen to be believed. The detail? Extraordinary. The shops? Pristine. The artistry? Infallible. From the cobble streets to the costumed workers, the entire ‘world’ is insanely realistic. Standing amongst the bustle of Hogsmeade, one looks up and sees Hogwarts as it was designed to be seen, and let me assure you, it is quite a sight! From the craggy, rocky base to the soaring towers, the fabled school is a dream to behold. Not at all a competitor to Disney’s Cinderella castle at Magic Kingdom, which still induces tears from guests as they enter, but then again it was never designed to be and it is magnificent in its own right, particularly at night!

Copyright 2010 The Rogue Imagineer

Walking through Hogsmeade you pass the muggle filled shops of The Owl Post, The Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, Zonkos, Ollivander’s, the Hogs Head and Dervish and Banges. These stores, inside and out, from the animated props in the windows to the atmosphere of each, are jaw-dropping. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same thing for the products contained therein. Perhaps the thing I was looking forward to the most was the merchandise that would be available, after all, who wouldn’t love to experience a chocolate frog? Well, turns out, I didn’t…seeing as the 8oz piece of molded chocolate was being sold for a staggering $9.99. Yes folks, that’s right, ten buckaroos for a piece of candy in Harry Potter’s world! I thought to myself, “It’s a theme park! The prices are high! Something else will be more reasonable!”…I was wrong. Every single thing in Honeydukes is insanely overpriced, to the point that many entered the shop, but the checkout lanes were empty with employees just standing there. $10 for a jar of gumballs? $10 for a 20 count of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean?? It was disheartening, and a bit infuriating, to say the least.  Unfortunately, things only got worse price-wise…A robe? $100. A flimsy, light-up, plastic broom that is not even to scale? $30.00. A REAL broom stick? $300 or higher. A house-colored tie? $60.00. It was extortion and many around me were commenting not only in sticker-shock, but some in revulsion that Universal would price-gouge like that. Again, I know it’s a theme park. Better still, I know it’s an ORLANDO theme park, but these prices are astronomical even at those standards. The only things that I thought were reasonably priced were the two most popular and highly anticipated items (Surprised? Neither am I). A wand from Ollivander’s was a palatable $30 and a Butterbeer was a decently standard $4.00.  I bought a wand and I am very happy with its accuracy and quality! Universal obviously paid immaculate attention to detail and sought out J.K. Rowling’s help with these, and believe me, you can tell. Especially with Voldemort’s wand, which was insanely well done! Unfortunately, I wish I could say the same for the Butterbeer…

Now, many of my constituents are praising Butterbeer for any number of reasons…and I seriously question the validity of their reviews now. Butterbeer, after much excitement and anticipation on my part, turned out to be, truly, nothing more than frothy cream soda. I am a huge cream soda fan/connoisseur, and trust me, this was cream soda if I’ve ever drank it. So much so, that I questioned whether I was going insane due to heat stroke…nope. I said aloud to myself “THIS IS JUST CREAM SODA!” while in line for Honeydukes and immediately several fellow Butterbeer drinkers in line around me started busting-up laughing. After questioning them and many, MANY other guests throughout the day, the consensus seemed to be that ‘Butterbeer’ (aka cream soda) could be obtained at any local drug store or grocery store and has, in fact, been in existence far  longer than Harry Potter has.  (Just for the record, I tried both the frozen and regular Butterbeer. The regular is better, but ultimately just buy some IBC Cream Soda and sadly, you’ve got a much cheaper, much better alternative…)

Moving on, Ollivander’s itself is a neat experience, but definitely not worth the 3 hour long wait it was commanding consistently throughout the day. Using my previous know-how of theme parks, I simply held-off and rode the Forbidden Journey once more, which put me out just 15 minutes after the park closed. Sure enough, Ollivander’s was relatively deserted! I walked right in, looked around, bought my wand and left. 20 minutes total and that is with ample ‘gawking’ time at theming. During my visit, I heard several guests grumbling about and even asked a few

Copyright 2010 The Rogue Imagineer

about what they thought of Ollivander’s. The general thought: NOT GOOD. I liked my experience, but I didn’t wait at all. You must consider that these who reviewed it so poorly waited upwards of 2 1/2 hours to get into a glorified theme park store. I wouldn’t be happy either. And as for the experience, generally speaking, it is only one person who gets to participate, it is almost always a very, very YOUNG child and it lasts less than five minutes after which everyone is crammed into the tiny Ollivander’s main store. As you can imagine, in 97 degree weather, after a 3 hour wait, it was a somewhat lackluster experience for them…thank the Lord I waited.

In conclusion of Part One of this review, Hogsmeade is a very expensive dream that while stunning to look at and behold, ultimately never sells the idea that you are actually ‘there’. I was constantly very aware that I was at Islands of Adventure the whole time, just in an insanely, meticulously designed land.  In my opinion, this is not at all a bad thing…it just contradicts the purpose of immersion, something Disney is far more successful at creating. This is not to say my dear, beloved Disney is perfect…oh no, far from it… but that  review is coming soon as well!

WWoHP: Review Part II

WWoHP: Review Part III

WWoHP: Review Part IV

Read Full Post »

© Andrew A. Vest

“Hey, not so fast Y’all, I likes eatin’ people…’specially y’all…”

-Family Guy

Ok, so I must take a moment out of my normally very relevant soubriquet to highlight what might just be the worst and most embarrassing animatronic on the face of the earth. I refuse to be politically correct, but I simply do not want the fight of having to deal with the company, or the fans of the place which owns this lovely display in robotic debauchery. Therefore, I will not tell you where or how to experience this vulgar display, but shall rather tease you with my titillation’s concerning just how much of a good time I had making fun of it. Suffice to say I still laugh when I think about it.  Let’s begin, shall we?

Ok, so take a fruit bat and make it have sex with Joan Rivers, now, take the carnivorous, mutant love-child that results (You know its true), starve it, let it die, stretch it until it is 9ft. tall, scold it with boiling water, then ram an all too obvious pipe up its butt, glue some discount felt on as wings, make it wear a nasty pink boa and then pretend like it is supposed to be menacing. Sound ridiculous? It is, but I am not exaggerating. Honestly, I think a kitten would walk up to this thing, look at it, then after five seconds be like “Let’s go…”.

Truly though, I could not take this thing seriously. I had to survive the queue by pretending that it was the creepy cat man from Family Guy and that this tragic bat-thing really just wanted some company in his oddly brothel-like, pink flame crypt.  Come on, honestly, what was this theme park thinking? Oh don’t get me wrong, it is creepy, just for all the wrong reasons.

Oh my…

Read Full Post »